We drove out of town about 20 minutes to the middle of nowhere when Mac pulled down a dirt road. About 10 minutes down the dirt road Mac stopped the truck and said we where here, I said nothing and got out. Mac rummaged around his truck slung kind of a back pack over his shoulder and looked at me and said ready? I just nodded my head yes and followed him as he walked away down a sort of dirt path way. I kept thinking as i walked behind him for about five minutes of how scared i was and how i was going to make the first move. Finally in a cracked voice barely above a whisper I asked if Mac had brought the stuff we had emailed about in the pack. He stopped walking and said yes while smiling at me. I didn't even think as i said can I see your handcuffs. Mac unslung his pack saying a very jolly okay and got on one knee and was going through his pack. Again without thinking i took my shoes off let my sweat pants fall off me and then took off my sweat shirt top. As i was putting my shoes. . my therapist let me cut back to once every two months. I'm doing okay, that he can tell." Was it bad? After it happened?" She rubbed her hands, as if she was cold."Yes. I ... uh, I had to be hospitalized for ... injuries. They didn't regulate my morphine supply, didn't think I'd abuse the privilege, but the shift nurse checked on me, caught me..." You tried to overdose?"I nodded."Ouch. I hate being on suicide watch. No privacy." A detective came by, every day, asking for me to say who did it. Told me the rapist wouldn't get me, even if the prosecution failed. I didn't believe him." You should've," Sandra said. "It'd be easier for you to prove you didn't want it than I could." I guess." The gay rumor, Sandie." Oh ... that ... yeah, forget it." Why is it like this?" Like what?" Why do we have to prove we didn't want to be raped?" Years of shithead misogynists in power who believe women are permanently consenting to sex. And weaker men, for that matter."Sandra took the turnpike around.
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